birthordertherapy's Profile

birthordertherapy On 5 months ago

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  • Birthday: May 17, 1934
  • Gender: Male
  • Blog Traffic: 4,884 Visitors

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  • Reply to blog post: Humor by birthordertherapy
    Comment written 2 years ago
    Fourth Borns were often the butt of cruel jokes by the older siblings that leaves them with anger that can be triggered later on. The cure is to forget the memories that make you angry. However, anger may be necessary to deal with injustice, anger that is more an exercise of power than an expression of emotion. For this you want to remember the memories that let you get angry.

    Kids often want to be different from their parents so setting an example may not work. Kind, generous, thoughtful and loving interaction with your kids can do the trick. In a way, your throwing a tantrum may have the effect of making them more considerate if they don't want to be like you.

    A good rule to follow is that if you don't like how people are acting toward you change what you are doing. That may be difficult to do but that's why we keep learning how to do things differently. Good luck with your kids. Hope things get better.
  • Reply to a comment on: Humor by birthordertherapy
    Comment written 2 years ago
    Yep, humor can be abusive. The key to good humor is to be sensitive to how others feel.
  • Reply to a comment on: The Emotional Only Child by birthorder
    Comment written 2 years ago
    In my experience about one-third of the time an oldest child will be an Only rather than a First Born. This is so common that many researchers describe the First Born as having Only Child characteristics.

    In the case of two children both will be Onlies if the oldest is an Only. There is a pseudo Birth Order difference between the two because the second child wants to be different from the older one when both are Onlies. Despite the apparent differences both are Onlies. There tends to be conflict during childhood that changes into closeness when they are adults.
  • Reply to a comment on: The Emotional Only Child by birthorder
    Comment written 2 years ago
    An Only Child does not exercise power over others choosing rather to give the other person reasons for doing what the Only Child wants. A parenting example is of the Only Child parent giving a child reasons for going to bed rather than saying "I want you to go to bed" which would be an exercise of power. Adult to adult would be to say "Do you want to go out tonight?" rather that saying "I'd like to go out tonight."

    Thanks for asking. I appreciate your being a fan!

    Cliff

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