Changing by birthordertherapy on Blogster

Change comes with difficulty for good reason. We need stable personalities.

Resistance to change comes from childhood when change was forced upon us making a link between wanting to change and resistance to change. When we want to change our memories block the change. That's why will-power does not work.

Our Birth Order personalities are quite stable. They never change although Birth Order behavior can be modified.

There are times that we want to change what we do for the sake of relationships, successful living or to meet challenges. There is a way to promote change that still allows for a stable personality.

First, we want to break the link between wanting to change and resistance to change. For this, say to yourself, "Forget the memories that make you want to change." This works because it deals with compulsive memories - "make you want to".

The next step is to say to yourself, "Remember the memories that let you want to change." This enables changes that you choose to make.

These statements may be more effective if you have someone say them to you.

4 comments on Changing

lynnette said 1 years ago
"Remember the memories that let you want to change is so true to me." Last night I had to make a decission that would have affected the rest of my life, but did'nt want to, my way of thinking had to change so that I would be able to continue the relationship with my husband, I did'nt think I would ever be able to undo years of self respect, but I needed to because I love him. Remembering the first time we met and all the years of happiness, changed my way of thinking compleetly, broke all the rules so to speak, everything I live by,I was so shocked with the way I felt. Putting those feelings of confussion into words like you have there has given me the reasons why I did what I did. This is a very clever but obvious solution, I wish it could be this clear to people when they don't know why they feel the way they do in my situation, like I was in last night. This blog can save a lot of heartache for people. Your a clever man. [THUMBUP][THUMBUP][THUMBUP][HEART]
unlimited said 1 years ago
Our Birth Order personalities are quite stable. They never change although Birth Order behavior can be modified.
Well, can you say Dr. Spock?[SMILE]
rayofsunshine said 1 years ago
I find that although change is possible, it is quite rare. Most people do not want to change because it is difficult and they are often unaware of their repugnant behavior. They are not watching themselves as others are. Also, it is easier to blame someone else for unacceptable actions and words because it is self fulfilling. So if it is someone else's fault, you could not have prevented it, meaning you will repeat the mistake. There are times when it makes sense to blame others. Few people have the self discipline to change. In commited relationships where one person hurts another, there are often promises of change, but it rarely happens. They agree to it so the other person will stay in the relationship. There is a reason why criminals are not allowed in certain professions - because the best way to predict a person's behavior is by their past encounters. [THUMBUP]
eurovir said 1 years ago
It's hard to change when there is a lot of stressful event happening around a person. The tendency is to use displacement to block an unpleasant memory. When this strategy proves disadvantageous, there is difficulty fighting this too.

But I believe when there is a great necessity and a person is really lucid, it can be accomplished.